Everything was fine, until something she saw, reminds her of everything.

Flashback plays repeatedly in her thoughtless mind. Unknowingly, she felt a pressure pressing against her heart beat. As she breathe, her heart sinks deeper, memories, good & bad plays in her head like a piece of old classic.

She froze physically, a bad mixture of odd feelings, unable to blend, unable to tell what is wrong with herself.

She stares into it deeper, her eyes felt heavy. Gradually, her eyes could not withstand the weight, a sparkling drop of tear rolls down her cheek. When it starts, more starts falling after. A drop after another.

Eventually, the sadness in her got too deep, the force of a sharp knife pierces through her imagination. She wanted to die. Silent tears just when everyone else was asleep until her eyes were bloodshot & puffy.

She wanted it back. 

She regretted.

She tried striking a conversation again, but it back-fired on her, caused her feelings to implode. Thoughts of suicide was never new to her, but her body was too stiffen up to move nor to do anything.

Dropped her phone, starts clicking through the old memories. 

Finally, a thought shouted out in her mind, her will power, telling her to start anew. Not to this, but to herself.

Yes, she might have tried a plenty times, she became thoughtless, cold shoulders & even lost interest in certain habits. 

She gets numb, but still very fragile. Her heart is even more vulnerable than ever. 

Trying to stand again.

Here she is. Finally telling everyone how she feels.

Please don’t push her.

my fault. I’m sorry. shouldn’t have… & it back-fired.

SHOUT FUCK OFF. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

What am I thinking? Why now? Again? I’m too late. I miss you.